Dad has passed

With Dads health declining since Moms funeral, he started hospice in early February, on top of the excellent care-giving Good Sam provides. We were encouraged to consider it after he broke his hip last year, and after discussing Dad’s wishes amongst us kids, we agreed. Dad’s been on a pretty steady decline since Mom died in May, mentally and physically I wasn’t fully tracking how much covering Mom was doing for him but I suspect his usual “quiet, just listening” demeanor along with Moms engaged and outgoing persona helped mask his mental changes from most of us.

Now that she’s gone, there have been good and bad days. Thankfully many were good - tracking on conversations a little bit, asking questions about family, pets, grandkids, etc., and occasionally (re-)telling a story about Grand Island or him and Mom. However, many times he wasn’t recognizing us kids.

Specific to his mental state, there has been a marked decline since late February. Although he’s been responding well to hospice care, he’s been falling frequently at night - we suspect he doesn’t remember to use the call button for a nurse. Thankfully, no external injuries so far. Until recently he has been receptive to the assistance after the falls, but he’s started showing uncharacteristic signs of agitation and aggression.

On Monday (March 9), nursing tried to help him up for breakfast, he was in an altered state (not actually awake) and resisted efforts to help him out of bed. Kate and I both came and had lunch with him while he remained in bed. He slept for most of the hours we were there. Though there were times when we could make out his attempts to talk in sentences, they were fragments almost like conversations within his mind. Amanda flew in Tuesday and he was ‘rallying’ a bit with her here that afternoon, but by that evening he had slipped back into the unconscious state and has remained there since.

On the morning of March 16, 2023, Dad passed away at 12:30AM - Kate, Amanda, and Dan had spent most of the past week at his side 24 hours a day, so when he passed Amanda and Kate were at his side.